~Night^Vampire~

Dunno y this few days felt like posting here... Mayb it was the only way to threw out my thoughts... Just like throwing my thoughts into a hole... No one will answer it... Haha....Anyway couldn't really fell asleep last night till 3am.... Chat with Emily last night through MSN... We chat about our love experience... Had a really nice conversation with her.... Giving opinion on love, the way we treated our exs... Enjoying chatting with her... Our thoughts were mostly the same... Well... Not tat easy to find a same "channel" friend.... I think she might be the one which has the same "channel" with me.... Haha... Felt comfortable chatting with her.. Mayb we nvr meet each other in reality... Hahaha... Suddenly my phone rang... Wat a suprise... My mobile wont be ringing at tat time... Thought tat was Stella calling.... But then it was a private number.... Then i thought tat was Stella's mum or my family calling.... Haha... When i answer the call.... Nobody was talking at the few few seconds... Then i heard a female voice.... Guess who?? Emily called me... I was shocked at first... Haha... She called just to say Hi to me... We talked on the phone for few minutes then hung up because she ran out of credit... After tat i realized tat her voice sound like one of my friend from China.... Hahaha.... Then me n Sylvis chatted for a while.... She showed me some photos of mine... Photos when i was a kid.... I have been looking for those photos for ages... After tat i went to bed n laid on the bed till 3am.... When i was asleep... I had a nightmare about an aircraft crashed into the airport.... I was shocked and woke up for a while... Calm myself down with a glass of water.... Then went back to sleep.... Haha... I missed the first two classes again... When i was having class.. I received a message from Sylvia... She told me tat her Dad's company was robbed... Most of the stock were gone.... Big lost on tat... Sorry to hear tat Sylvia... Stay happy... Back to my story... Hehe.... I saw Stella twice during school time.... The first time was near the lifts... But then she was talking to her friend... Don't think she saw me.... Then i saw here when i was walking back to the school after break... We saw each other at the school entrance.. But then she was talking with a guy.... Seems happy.... Then i just walked pass them without looking at her... I didnt turn back n have a look... After a while.. Feel pain from the bottom of my heart... She looked happy with her friends.... Happier than before... It's a nice thing for her but not for me... Mayb she nvr ever felt happy being with me... Because i'm a boring person tat stays at home everyday.... Sigh.... Went home after school with a sad face... Read the e-mail she sent again... Looking for some hidden meaning... In her message she mentioned about the trip to Malaysia at the end of this year.... Before tat she promised to go... Tat was sweet... But then she told her mum about tat trip and her mum doesn't not allow her to go.... I think her mum dislike me because of this... Or mayb she just trying to make up some story.... Who knows?? Anyway.... Been having a really tough moment to let this go and get rid of it... Human only will treasure their partner when they left.... After tat regret y didnt they treasure their partner before.... I'm kinda in this situation... As long as she happy then everything will be alright.... Feel lonely when there's no love but feel vexed when the love has come... After that feel sad when love gone... It's a cyclic of lonely and love.... I learnt from mistakes i made... From now on i'm a totally brand new Sam...

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Moody Sam

Tough Moment